I can remember the first day I ever felt convicted as vividly as I do the day I was saved. The church used to go to Natchez Trace Park every spring for a big day of music and fun. We were there one day, and I was having fun as usual. In the afternoon it began raining and they moved the gospel music inside. I sat and listened and for the first time, really knew where I would be headed if I were to die. I must have been crying because someone came and talked to me. Well, my first impulse was to run. I just shook it off and took off out the door, right into the pouring rain, but it was better than the alternative, or at least I thought it was.
From that day on, church was a miserable experience to me. I went to the altar a few times but mostly, I gripped the bench with white knuckles and waited for it to pass. During revival, I spent a lot of time praying, mostly bargaining with God. “I’ll do this, or I won’t do that” the second I said, “Lord, just take me and do with me what you will, I can’t do this.” peace flowed over me. I sat down with mom and she must have seen a change, she asked me if I felt better and I said, yes, and then immediately, no. I wasn’t sure if I should run around the room like I had seen a friend do, or hear voices like I’d heard other people talk about.
I spent a lot of time over the next day or so trying to figure it out, but I realized when I didn’t get convicted again, and my biggest concern became my unsaved friends that I had all I was getting. I told the church during a morning service that week, but waited for Dad to be there that night to join the church. I’ve never doubted my salvation again.